I want everything and nothing. I want to be with you forever. I don’t even know who you are or how we fit, how we work. I just know that there’s an infinite destiny of ways in which we are perfect. I used to think that there was this one amazing person out there who was exactly what I wanted. I could see his face in my mind; I could write his history in my memory.
And now, I have no clue. I don’t know what I want or who I am. All I know is that imperfection is a gift and that when I find you that I may be able to find peace. Because we are all imperfect. We all have faults and things that make us beings of doubt. But we are perfect in our imperfections.
I don’t know the road to where you are. I especially don’t know where it will lead me. I have grand plans for my life. I know I want to live a life of prestige and purpose. I don’t want to fade into the background. I want to be somebody who mattered. But what if that is nothing like the life I am destined for? What if my life is simply meant to be the mother of our children? How do I reconcile that to who I am?
I am more than anything a creative being. I think in prose and muse in poetry. I see the world in a million different ways and I am passionate for what I want and resolute about what I deserve. I know that love is something that finds you when you least expect it and can leave stranded on a desert island of your own misery.
The pursuit of love is to constantly be standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing that the only way to fly is to jump. And so you jump. Sometimes you fall. You break a bone, or two, or ten. And then you heal. Slowly but surely. You become a different person who stood on that cliff the last time. And then you jump again. And again. I will jump until I find you. I will jump until I fly.
